Monday, 2 February 2015

Duolingo, you're a Creep

I'm now on a 100 day streak on Duolingo, though Duolingo itself would say I'm on a 10 day streak because twice I've done my requisite exercise after midnight, when it refuses to count it. So it lost my 75 day streak once, and then an 89 day streak (which it counted as 14 days) but since I still did the exercise during those days I'm counting it. 

So anyway, yay me. 

To celebrate the occasion, here are some of the weird phrases Duolingo has given me to translate. Duolingo, you're a creep. 

Elle est parfaite - She is perfect. Except my name is Elle, so the whole time it was like Duolingo complimenting me. 

Here's where it got super creepy and euphemistic.

Nous lisons vos lettres - We read your letters. 

Je motive le garcon - I motivate the boy.

Il ouvre son manteau - He opens his coat.

Il perd son pantalon - He loses his pants (almost directly after the coat one, not even kidding). 

He motivates the children - Il motive les enfants

Elle prend mon sucre - She takes my sugar

He gets dirty - Il devient sale.

C'est la banane que je veux - It's the banana I want.

I know that you know that I know - Je sais que tu sais que je sais.

The women play with the men - Les femmes jouent avec les hommes.

Le garcon plait aux filles - The boy pleases the girls.

Vous allez me regarder - You are going to watch.

La serveuse est entierement nue - The waitress is entirely naked. 

Then it got romantic...

Je suis beau et fort! - I'm beautiful and strong!

You are beautiful - Tu es beau.

Am I naked? - Suis-je nu? Shouldn't you know that, Duolingo?

Est-elle nue? - Is she naked? Is Elle naked? No. Why would she learn French in the nude?

Il m'écrit un livre - He writes me a book.

Oui, je t'aime - Yes, I love you.

My wife, I love her - Ma femme, je l'adore.

C'est la femme du siecle - She's the woman of the century.

I like these moments with you - J'aime ces moments avec toi. Duolingo, I'm taken. Stop it. 

I miss him - Il me manque.

Pourquoi revons-nous? - Why do we dream? Right little poet, so you are.

J'aime dire que je t'aime - I like saying that I love you.

Where do you want to have dinner tonight? - Ou aimes-tu diner ce soir?

Je viens pour te sauver - I'm coming to save you.

I still love you - Je t'aime toujours.

Elle existe déja - She already exists.

Je recois souvent des lettres de lui - I often receive letters from him. 

Enfin, je crois - Finally, I believe.

Tu es presque parfait - You are almost perfect.

Elle est loin, mais je l'aime toujours - She is far away, but I love her always

Elle est au-dessus de moi - She is above me. Elle is above me ;) 

Je dors loin de vous - I am sleeping far away from you.

Cependant, elle est trop chere - However, she is very beloved. 

You are rather beautiful - Tu es plutot belle.

Tu es ma princesse - You are my princess.

J'aime ma copine - I love my girlfriend.

J'aime mon petit ami - I love my boyfriend.

Every day I love you more - Tous les jours je t'aime plus

Vous etes mon futur mari - You are my future husband. Why are they using the formal "strangers" tense to refer to someone they intend to marry?

J'aime passer du temps avec elle - I like spending time with her.

I am sensitive to beauty - Je suis sensible a la beauté.

Elle a un haut niveau d'intelligence. She has a high level of intelligence. I should really just make a category for the ones that are funny because they're my name. 

Tu vas tellement me manquer - I will miss you so.

Elle recoit des cadeaux et des roses - She receives presents and roses. Mmm. 

Some uncomfortable "truths"...

Malgré elle, elle aime ce garcon - Despite herself, she likes this boy. Cian. 

She is weak; she eats the chocolate - Elle est faible; elle mange le chocolat

Les hommes partent - the men leave. Sob. 

J'aime ma mere, mais j'aime aussi mon pere - I love my mother, but also my father.

Cette femme est tres belle, mais il est trop jeune pour elle - This woman is very beautiful, but he is too young for her. 

I want to see my son now - Je veux voir mon fils maintenant

Vous etes plutot petite - You are rather small. I personally find this one quite romantic. 

Personne ne me parle - Nobody talks to me. 

Elle semble vivre normalement - She seems to live normally. Do I? 

Non, ce n'est pas mon petit ami - No, he's not my boyfriend.

Je suis aussi fatiguée que toi - I am also tired of you.

Je ne peux pas le laisser seul - I can't leave him alone. 

Il a coupé le contact avec elle depuis longtemps - He cut off contact with her long ago. 

Il dirige sa famille et prend toutes les décisions - He directs his family and makes all the decisions.

Meme un professeur peut faire des erreurs - Even a teacher can make mistakes.

Je ne peux pas décrire mes sentiments - I can't describe my feelings.

Elle ne faisait rien pour etre aimée - She never did it to be liked.

Je veux etre aimée pour ce que je suis  - I want to be loved for who I am. 

Some were just plain weird...

He lives in an apple - Il habite dans une pomme.

Tu joues avec ton tigre - You play with your tiger.

Je vais vous apporter le canard - I'm going to bring you the duck.

Je viens pour sauver ton chat - I'm coming to save your cat.

Je veux cacher un animal - I want to hide an animal.

Il doit mourir - He must die. 

Mes enfants sont secrets - My children are secret.

He shows them the shark - Il me montre le requin. 

Tada! Also, check out this cool Twitter account with similar content: @ShitDuoSays


  1. ... this is totally hilarious, if also creepy :/

    You dont mind if I scan your recent posts and add multiple comments do you?

    1. I don't mind at all :) Would you mind telling me how you found the blog?