Monday, 6 April 2015

FAQ about my Blockia

1.        What is a Blockia?
It’s a Nokia that’s a block. I would’ve thought that’d just be a Nokia, but apparently some Nokia phones actually have features now, like touchscreens and even internet access. Not mine, though.

2.      Why do you own a Blockia?
I have an amazing capacity for losing things, and after losing two phones in a row (over two/three years, relax), I needed one that was cheap and could do the basics (I mean text and call. Facebook is not a basic). This was €20 and so far has shown no signs of vulnerability. This is important, because I’ve been known to drop my phone on the ground several times a minute, and that’s just an unsustainable rate of replacement to require. Thus, the Invincible Nokia.

3.      Are there any benefits to the Blockia?

Yes! I mean, this could just be a form of Stockholm Syndrome, but I’ve had the Blockia for a month and I’ve really warmed to it. It has Snake, Sudoku and  Radio. I haven’t seen pre-installed FM Radio on any of my other phones, not even the Blackberry. All you need is a pair of headphones and Bob’s your Blockia. There’s also the aforementioned durability, and the Blockia is very unfussy. It’s totally wifi-independent! Oh, and it has a torch!

4.     But it is crap, right?
I mean, I wouldn’t say crap, but…

It has absolutely no internet, and obviously no downloadable apps because of that. But what’s worse – because using internet on that would be an awful experience anyway – is that it has very very little memory, so I have to delete messages every time I want to receive a new one. Also, I can’t find a slot for an SD card. No camera either, but there’d be no point having one because I couldn’t store any photos.

It’s also, y’know, a Blockia.

5.        Is this the worst phone you’ve ever had?

Actually, nope. I’ve had four phones, and this is the second-worst. Samsung Tocco Lite when I was 12, Blackberry 13-15, a Vodafone phone for a few months and now this Nokia. So that’s only one touchscreen ever. The Vodafone phone had all the problems of this phone without any of the benefits – no radio, no games. And c’mon, I introduced it to people as a Blockia, but it wasn’t even a Nokia. It was a ripoff of a Nokia. It’s pretty sad if you can’t even reach Nokia standard.

6.      Would you recommend the Blockia?

Well, if you’re short on cash and need a semi-disposable phone, I’d recommend this model. I mean, I don’t really know what it’s called, since all it says is Nokia but… Yeah, I would. Though don’t go turning down any free iPhones on my account.
(Also, I'm currently loving Agency FB.)

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